"The 3 Levels of Progress: Think, Have, Be" 

We can plan to create something, but if we don't have the self-worth to support the thing that we're planning for, essentially we don't give ourselves the permission to be happy. Psychologists call this happiness, anxiety. We create the self-fulfilling looping of, well, I don't deserve this. And so if it happens, the plan works, but you don't have permission to be happy and so therefore. You'll reject it. 

What if you could build a business in the modern world as big or as small as you want without having to compromise the things that were the most important to you in the very beginning? This is the Wealthy Consultant Talks podcast with Taylor Welch and Mike Walker. They share with you today their learning lessons from stories in their experiences over the past 10 to 15 years, and share with you right here, right now, let's get it.

What I want to talk about today is, is  ways that you can set your life up so that you can  move effortlessly  through both the good times and the hard times. And I've, I've posted about this before, but I've never gone deep in this dichotomy. Here's what a dichotomy is. A dichotomy is an opposite.

Opposite ends.  Of, of a spectrum. Typically a false dichotomy is when you feel like you're choosing one or the other, but it really can be both ends. It's just opposite ends of the spectrum.  So here are some, some, uh, false dichotomies that, that are  very easy to fall into.  Have you ever heard that phrase? Um,  nice Guys finish last.

Yep.  Based on a false dichotomy. So you can, you can either  be nice or you can be successful. Mm-hmm. You can either have a, you can either be a great mother or you can have a big business.  It's a false dichotomy.  Um, you can either have a really great  client-centric. Organization or you can have scale. You know, these are false dichotomies that really force us to the edges, and they remove, they remove our ability to create both ends.

And so  if we want to create a both ends scenario in our businesses, in our families, in our achievements, in, in, in a person's life, in, in your business.  What's  over taught and overtrained is this idea of, of planning. How do I create a plan?  How do I create a plan for my life? This is the grind, the hustle, and, but it's also the thinking and it's the tactical side of, of it's, it's the, it's the mental game of how do I reverse engineer from where I am now to where I want to be.

Okay. But the problem is when you are overly focused on the plan.  When you do not hit that plan, you tend to elicit feelings like shame. How many of you have ever missed a target?  And rather than thinking, well, this is.  This is an opportunity for me to learn. You think, well, what's wrong with me? This is a shame.

If you're overly emphasized on the plan, you have shame. This is also, you got energy here on this plan, which you're chasing, chasing, chasing, chasing, chasing. You're gonna chase it, energy. And then a lot of people who are overly emphasizing the plan have anxiety is a worry. It's also, it's this idea of if I do not hit this plan. 

What will happen to me and what does that say about me? Increasing anxiety and worry, things that you're not necessarily  excited to, to, to live through. The, the other side that we don't think about is this idea of permission.  And when you get into permission, you get the opposite. You get the, the ability to attract things through your self-worth.

I.  You are, you are relatively unbothered. So this is think, think about it this way.  We can plan to create something,  but if we don't have the self-worth to support the thing that we're planning for,  essentially we don't give ourselves the permission to be happy. Psychologists call this happiness, anxiety,  it's a real thing.

It's happiness, anxiety. 

Wow.  

Where it's like, okay, you'll say you.  You find somebody amazing and you fall in love with them, but you don't believe that you are actually worthy of  being loved.  And so everything that this other person does, you're filtering it through. You think they're manipulating you, or they're just pretending or they're cheating or something dumb and you, you're constantly putting them through these little micro tests. 

To prove that they love you because you don't feel like you're worthy of being loved. Hang with me for a second. This is happiness, anxiety, and let's say that that person loves you back, shocker. And they stubborn perseverant like, no, I'm gonna outlast you because I do love you. And they make it through your little game,  and they've jumped through your hoops. 

You are so committed to this idea of not being lovable, that you begin to think, well, maybe they do love me and maybe, maybe I've  settled. Maybe my bar is too low. Maybe they're not worth worthy of me because the person that I wanna be with  probably would not love me the way that this person loves me. We create the self-fulfilling looping.

Of, well, I'm, I don't deserve this. And so if it happens, the plan works, but you don't have permission to be happy and so therefore you'll reject it.  Wow. People call this an upper limit. Um, gay Hendrix calls this upper limit problem. It's where there's a limit that you're no longer willing to break through because you don't feel like you deserve it.

And if we don't feel like we deserve it, we will not give our permission, uh, to, to stay there. Okay.  So permission is about alignment. It's about self-worth identity. It's about allowing the things that we want  to not only happen, but to stay.  Here's another thing.  Some of us that get really mature in this game. 

We get sophisticated, you know, like you're in arena, so you hear us talk about it and you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've fixed it, I've fixed it, I've fixed it. And you look around and there's a, there's a loophole that happens when you have something like happiness, anxiety. You haven't given yourself permission.

Maybe you're not gonna push the person away. Maybe it's acceptable as long as you're just not happy. Well, I'll, I'll keep a little bit of business success  and it's okay, as long as I'm not happy. Inside of that success and we reject the things that would bring us ultimate happiness because we don't feel like we deserve to have them.

An example in the business will be the exact same thing. You get a great client, you're on the verge of getting a great client. And um, you know, the problem with getting this client is that you wouldn't be worried about money, but you don't deserve to not be worried about money. You don't deserve to have financial security.

You don't deserve. To be in a position where life is good. Now we're okay if life is okay,  but we're not okay if life is good because we haven't earned that.  So the the plan is about earning  and chasing permission is about receiving and inheriting. You are allowed to be happy because you deserve to be happy. 

So here's a, here's a quick idea for us to, to think that this through. 

We need both.  I'm not an advocate of like, don't plan anything. Just walk through life. Nothing exists. Don't drink, don't eat yesterday. Never happened. That's dumb.  What I'm a fan of is having both, and what are the things that I'm going to accrue and achieve through my own effort, and then what are the things that I'm going to give myself permission. 

Receive. So let's do this exercise real fast and we're gonna keep going there. I fill this worksheet out, however you wanna do it, but I want us to actually get a couple of things that in 2024, what are we planning on creating? What are we planning on? Uh, uh, achieving, chasing, getting. And then I want us to think about three things.

What are we giving ourselves permission to receive? And what you'll notice is these two things should be totally, totally different. So I'm gonna put, let's just give, give ourselves a minute to get through this and  fill this out.  So here's the difference in these examples. Um.  I'll give you, I'll just use my examples.

What am I planning to do? Well, the reality is I need more, more than three bullet points, but let's just like map it out right now. I'm gonna write two books this year. Um, I'm going to do 22 events this year. I'm gonna buy a portion nine 11, I'm gonna get a portion nine 11 this year. There are things that I'm planning on doing, but then in permission, what, what, what you should have is something totally different.

I'm gonna give myself permission to be loved, truly loved. I.  What does it mean to be loved? It means that you don't have to actually do anything to earn it.  And me and my wife are working through this, like, I'll be honest with you, we're, we're still working through this because  I have such a performance identity.

Uh, you know what I told my coach last week, I was on a, on a call with one of my coaches and I said, when I do not produce, I feel vulnerable. I feel terrified  because when I'm in production. I can ca, I can handle anything. You can take everything away from me. I'll just produce myself right back. But when I'm not producing, when it's a Saturday morning, I'm supposed to be at Donuts, or when my wife and I are on vacation, there's this paranoia that happens because I'm not producing, which means I'm vulnerable.

I cannot relax. This is the next thing, giving myself permission to relax. No vulnerability. There's no vulnerability in relaxation.  And so what is it that we believe about ourselves and about our, our environments that prevent us from being able to relax? You're not,  you don't have to produce on vacation. 

What is it about us  that keeps us perpetually going?  And then a third thing that I wrote down is permission to dream.  Do you know how low  there are periods in my life when I've, I've literally lowered my dreams down to match my circumstances.  Mm-hmm. And so it is, you have to have boldness to actually dream. 

And when you get a real dream,  a real one, you'll know that it's real because you  have to change for that dream to be possible.  If there's no shift in identity required, the dream is too small.  And so this is, I'm giving myself permission to dream bigger. And the reason that that requires permission is because you have to allow yourself to visualize a better future for you to really dream.

And we're not gonna spend a ton of time on this, but this is something you should definitely work out in private. Definitely work out, uh, through the weeks. Because, because it doesn't matter how hard you work. If you over rely on your plan and you do not give yourself permission to be happier, to enjoy it or to do the things you've chosen, then you'll perpetually spend your constantly putting out fires.

You'll just destroy the progress you make  and you're constantly starting over. Many of you have felt that way. Let's deeper into this.  Into three levels of progress. The first level of progress is your  ability to think  and solve,  to think  and to solve.  The second level of progress is your ability to have  and to keep,  and the third level of progress is your ability to be. 

And grow. 

All right, so here we go.  The thinking,  the ability to think is level one. If you can think you can solve almost any problem,  except for  if you do not give yourself permission.  Then you'll constantly be acquiring, losing, acquiring, losing, acquiring, losing. And so the second level down under this is your ability to have and to keep. 

So I'll tell you this, from experience, it's very different. Having a seven figure business is very different than keeping a seven figure business. You know, they say it's not how much you make, it's how much you  keep, keep. Now, I disagree with that. I think that's stupid just for the record,  because if you keep a hundred percent of $10, it doesn't really matter. 

You have to, you have to, you have to make it before you keep it. So people are like, oh, it's not how much you make, it's how much you keep. It's like, yep, you're poor. I can tell because you've never  rich people don't say that. You have to have it first to keep it.  So,  you know, that's just whatever. But to keep something requires you to have a, an identity level that feels worthy of hanging onto it or else there's sa self-sabotage. 

You know what self-sabotage really is, is, is when you have an internal belief or a value system that is conflicting with something that you want.  So if I want to,  if I want to be rich  and be rich, requires me to work hard, but I have an internal value that more important than being rich is being safe. 

There are times in my life when I'll self-sabotage because the thing I need to do to become rich is violating the thing I need to do to be safe. Everybody got it?  Mm-hmm.  So you can't overpower self-sabotage.  You have to fix the identity underneath the self-sabotage that makes it go away. And then the third level is the ability to be and to grow. 

Why is this important?  Because progress is an inside job.  It's an inside game.  Everything on your external, everything outside of you is just a mirror  to your internal game. 

So what we'll get in the way of what will get in the way of progress  is thinking through.  Fears,  thinking through constantly obsessed with risk, constantly obsessed with what could go wrong, constantly obsessed with  why you have to do this to prove to someone else that you're worthy of. And the external accrual of of wealth is a facade. 

And if you get something but you didn't deserve to get it, you'll have to give it back. 

So this is the third level of the game.  And it's probably the most important. How does this patch into everything else is the Venn diagram. And I'm gonna, I'm gonna just take you through this really fast because I don't wanna run outta time. I wanna do some q and a. So we have, think this is the first game, right over here.

We have have, this is the second game. Have and keep,  and then at the bottom we have B  and grow. Here's why people get it confused all of the time.  For you to make money.  We're using Think have the first two levels, but how many people do we know who make a lot of money and they're not happy?  Definitely seen it. 

Happiness only comes when you have all three,  when you have the ability to be worthy,  make money.  And solve problems. 

So here are some questions. I want you to just write these down real quick  and then we'll do some q and a.  Question number one, 

do I believe  I can solve any problem that comes my way? 

Do I believe I can solve any problem that comes my way? 

Number two,  can I prevent those problems? I, 

if I think about them, 

number three. 

Do I believe  that if I solve enough problems,  I will get what I want. 

Do I believe that if I solve enough problems,  I will get what I want?  By the way, these questions, I just want you to know. I designed these questions like these.  These are real questions that will change the way you process life. So take these seriously.  Number four,  do I know what I want 

and can I describe it from multiple points of view? 

What is multiple points of view? I'll tell you when I'm, when I'm visualizing right now,  and I'll just be transparent. I'm, I'm just now getting clarity again for the first time in two years. So I've been in like war mode for two years and the funny thing about war mode is if we're not careful, we'll get addicted to war. 

And then everything's a war. And then we don't know how to dream anymore because we're just worried about the next threat. You gotta be careful here. You gotta kind of purge that central nervous system. And you know, I've been fighting threats for so long that now when I'm thinking about what I want,  default state is what could go wrong, not what do I want.

It's so easy. Just pivot right back into war mode.  Rather than into, into dream mode. But when I'm starting to do this ritualistically again, where I'm visualizing what I want and getting clarity, then here, here's an interesting thing.  You can visualize something from like your point of view. So like I, this is what I want.

I'm visualizing and I'm living it. Alice glorious and beautiful and it's amazing. And then you switch gears. And now I wanna visualize what, I wanna visualize the same thing from Mike's point of view.  How does Mike see me achieving the things that I'm achieving? And then you get a secondary point of view  that's powerful.

Then I'm gonna visualize it through one of our clients,  and you get a tertiary point of view and all of a sudden you stack up so much evidence in the mind that it's happening, that your mind just accepts it. It's like, well, this is happening. You know? Sometimes, sometimes it is.  I am just gonna throw this out and it's gonna blow all of your brains up.

And then we've gotta keep going back into questions, but I'm sorry, I have to,  nevermind. I'm not, I'm not gonna do it. Let's keep going through questions.  Number five, open loop  Number five.  Do I deserve these things that I want  right now? 

Why or why not? 

Do I deserve these things that I want right now? Why or why not? 

And number six,  where do I have opportunities  to become worthy  of my desires? 

Okay, here's, here's what I was gonna say earlier. 'cause now I'm getting beat up by chamber members. Um, notice I want all of arena to notice how bold chamber is like arena. People just sit in the background like chambers, like  Beil just threatened to like basically leave a nasty review. So, okay, okay, fine. 

When, when we have a vision of ourselves.  When we have, when we have visualization patterns of ourselves, which by the way, all of us do, you all have an internal compass. That is how you view yourself. All of us have it. Whether you pay attention to it or not, all of us have it. If you don't pay attention to it, then you're just getting your cues from the world around you.

But we all have it.  It is, it is easier for your subconscious to map the reality of our situation to our, our visualization than it is to change our visualization.  So here's what this means is if you accidentally accept,  uh, an inferior version of yourself that doesn't have the wealth, that doesn't have the influence, that doesn't have the books, your subconscious will disagree with the reality around you, and it will warp reality down to meet your version of yourself that it believes you are.

Mm-hmm.  

The hard work.  Is the hard work is not going out and creating progress. That's easy. Read a book  done. That's easy. The hard work is getting your interpretation of, of yourself up to the level  where you feel worthy of keeping all of that stuff.  Only then will you.  This grind and hustle flow culture of like not, not being necessary.

It really is like you can, you can achieve more than anyone else without working as hard as everyone else. If you can fix your compass,  you can get this, this version of yourself that you believe you are up. Then what your subconscious does, it goes out and it says, I disagree with this reality.  This reality is not real.

I rejected, and it will lift your reality up to the level of your, of your  internal compass. The problem with that is it will do the opposite as well.  So you take a really cool client, a really big client, your internal compass goes, I disagree with this. This is too easy.  I'm gonna set some shit on fire. 

I'm gonna not show up. I'm gonna not go to that event that I agreed to speak to you, because why?  Because life's a little too easy right now, and I got some, I got too much momentum.  This is dangerous. This is literally how this, how self-sabotage is like this starts a a actually affecting every part of your life,  but we got a little bit too much money in the bank. 

So I'm gonna make a bad investment, but I'm gonna justify it with some bullshit math that I don't actually believe in. But I'm just gonna go ahead and make the investment  I need to lower down a little bit of  of my liquidity right now.  This is where the internal compass becomes a massive thermostat.

It's setting and regulating  the heat of your entire life.