You Don’t Need Rest, You Need Purpose So if you ever get to the place where you're feeling like, man, it's just too much. It's one thing after another and it never stops and it never sleeps, and it's over and over and over, more than likely what you're going through is a crisis of meaning. You're not going through something that is too hard for you. You're going to through something that you can't figure out why it matters. Why are you here? Do we have an answer for this? If you don't know why you're here, the default path of least resistance will be to substitute your real calling with the need for escape. What if you could build a business in the modern world as big or as small as you want without having to compromise the things that were the most important to you in the very beginning? This is the Wealthy Consultant Talks podcast with Taylor Welch and Mike Walker as they share with you today, their learning lessons from. Stories in their experiences over the past 10 to 15 years and share with you right here, right now. Let's get into it. The title of today is, is, is Defining Your Good Life. And that requires a bit of, a bit of, um, the designing and defining. And so my thinking is that when we're done with today, I want you to have a bit of a playbook. In regards to like, what, what you should do and what you should not do, and how you can actually live the, the life that you want to live. And my good life is ponchos on Sunday evening with my family. Um, and we're gonna go, we're gonna go deep down this game. Okay? You guys ready to go? Let's go. Go. You guys ready to plug in? Um, when you look at, when you look at some of the work of Vic Frankel and, and, uh, we call him Old Vic around here, we're very familiar with Old Vic and his work, and next week's gonna be a phenomenal time as well. We're gonna talk about going through, going through things, so like how do you actually go through hyper pressure, HyperX anxiety? How many of you have ever woken up in the morning and you literally just feel anxious for no other reason than you just woke up? Yep. If you can put, if you can be, if you can admit that, then you're well on your way to beating it. Because half the battle with anxiety is people won't acknowledge that they feel it. And when you don't acknowledge that, you can feel it. You can't work through it. So anyways, next week is about working through this, this feeling of like feeling stuck. But today it makes no sense for us to remove the obstacles if we do not know where we're going. It doesn't make any sense for us to get speed if we might be going in the wrong direction. I built a ladder up the side of a tall building. I got to the top of the tall building and realized I didn't want the building anymore. And what do you have to do when you get to the top of a tall building? You do not want to be on anymore. What's the only way forward? You have to climb down the side of said building back to the ground and you have to find a new building to put your ladder. This is why more wealth is rebuilt than built. I. Lasting wealth, most oftentimes is not accumulated wealth. Lasting wealth most times is reac accumulated recaptured. Why? Because it's a mistake most of us make. We, we chase things that are not our, it's not our good life. It's somebody else's good life. Then we get it, and what do we do? I don't like it anymore. I don't even know why I'm doing this. And so this is the key. Before we get speed, we have to make sure that we're headed in the right direction. Does this make sense? A hundred percent. He says this, and this is something that we're gonna take a little bit of time on, then we'll go into some exercises. This is something that we should talk about. Happiness. Happiness. What is happiness? I mean, everybody wants to be happy. Literally, we are creatures that desire to be happy. Happiness, though Vic Frankl, old Vic says, happiness is not something to focus on. Happiness is a byproduct of meaning. Focus on meaning and happiness is a byproduct. So here's a quick question for you to answer, and this is not a rhetorical question. If you do not have the answer for this, you're gonna struggle in your life because you're gonna be deeply unhappy. If you can't answer this question, no amount of money will fix it. You can't sell a software for a hundred million and fix it. You can't have a lot of friends and fix it. You can't be on stages and be famous and fix it. Nothing will fix having no answer to this question. Why are you here? Like, what's the actual point? Why? Why are we doing this? 10 grand a month, 20 grand a month, a hundred grand a month. They're these things that we think we are chasing. But why are you here? The, the person who has has the inability to handle pressure. It's not because they're weak. It's, it's, it's because they don't know why. There's no point. So if you ever get to the place where you're feeling like, man, it's just too much. It's one damn thing after another, and it never stops and it never sleeps, and it's over and over and over, more than likely what you're going through is a crisis of meaning. You're not going through something that is too hard for you. You're going to through something that you can't figure out why it matters. Why are you here? Do we have an answer for this? If we do or if we don't, it doesn't matter. We're gonna go a little bit deeper into this today, and that's gonna be one of the takeaways from this lesson is identifying why were we born? Why are we here? Why are we working, and what are the necessary things that must take place for us to achieve our purpose? Y'all still with me tracking. This is another thing that I think happens when you don't know why you're here. This is gonna change your mind and change your life. Listen to this, because if you're an entrepreneur, you are at risk of this right now. If you don't know why you're here, the default past of Path of least resistance will be to substitute your real calling with the need for escape. Let me break this down and explain it to you. I was, uh, I was at this event this last weekend and I'd already been thinking about, you know, like, we get these notes and we prep, prep ahead of time. And I've already been thinking about this, but I go to the event and I speak at the event and, uh, you know, it's a lot of young entrepreneurs, really young entrepreneurs, and if you've been here a long time, then. You've watched me go through these seasons of like, yeah, I don't, I'm not a marketer anymore. I do real estate and I'm not this, I'm like, I'm just constantly going from one thing to the next, to the next, but not like actually exiting the previous thing. But you've seen my attitude change around what I wanna spend my time on. And, uh, I think even Jake posted this, um, this, this clip on Instagram where I'm talking about internet marketers. Have you guys seen this? It's like internet marketers never fail. They all make a billion dollars. I don't understand it. It's like you look at an internet marketer's business and they're constantly like driving these yachts and Lambos and they never fail. They never make mistakes, they never misread the market. It's basically a bunch of liars. And when I was at this event, I'm standing in the back, Lou, go follow me on Instagram and you'll find it. I'm standing in the back and um, I'm about to go on on stage and speak and God. Speaks to me and he says, this is your first test. And I say, no, it's not. I've spoken before, like is, I don't know if you ever had conversations with God or like conver. It's funny, like the first thing God speaks to you and I argue with him as if I'm, somehow he definitely got it wrong and I got it right. It's like, yo, hold up a minute. He goes, this is your first test. I said, no, it's not. You know, I've spoken a bunch of times and. I'm reasoning out to myself why this is not my first test, because I've obviously spoken and if God was paying attention, he would know that. So, you know, pay attention. God, here we are. And God goes, no, no, no, no, no, no. Um, you, you're not allowed to have influence with people that you resent. Oh, and you took me back to this journey over the last 5, 6, 7 years of me slowly developing this sense. Of superiority and you can feel it and smell it. Now, like when you go online and you see these people, you can tell like, ah, you have a superiority complex. Like you don't actually understand that you have been given talents and gifts and you've been put here for a purpose that is different than just accumulation of resource. You know what I'm saying? Like we, we see these people online all the time. I used to be one of them. And so God continues to lovingly. Chastise me in this, like you, you, you are not allowed to have influence over people that you resent. And this is your first test of being in a room of, of people who are, where, who you used to be. And so help them. So I get on stage and I speak and I do my thing and you know, they're like laughing and stuff and it's a, a hell of a time, hell of a time. And as soon as I'm off stage, I stay and I hang out with them and I go in and, and I. Eat dinner with them and smoke cigars with them. And you guys know me, I'm, I'm usually like, I've gotta speak and then leave. 'cause I'm a hardcore introvert and I don't often, you know, commingle a ton unless you're like. A client like, I'm tight with you. Uh, but this was different and I feel like I was supposed to stay. And one of the things that people noticed and spoke about again and again was like, man, thanks for being the guy who came and spoke and then stayed rather than the guy who came and spoke and then hopped on a plane back to thank you for investing, not just on the stage, but thank you for investing. After the stage and investing with our members and our people, and I, I began to get these downloads of like, you know, everyone has this goal of escaping. Think about this, like, how much of a badge of honor is it to be like, yo, my business is great, teams are great. I don't even have to do anything anymore. And like LA as if it's a badge of honor to escape the thing that you were called to do. In the first place. And you know what it tells me when somebody says this to me, it says, your business was never a calling. It was just a transaction for you. Because we're not actually out here trying to escape our callings. We only escape the things that we do not feel are mission critical for us to do for the world around. It's an, it's an example of someone who has not been, they're not clear enough on their purpose, or they're hanging on to things that are no longer their purpose, and both are just as bad. This is gonna challenge you because this is, this is not the way the world works. I was watching, I talked about it this morning on the daily mind medicine. You can listen to it and when, when a person does not have their purpose dialed in, their goal is to escape. When you have your, your purpose dialed in, your goal is to engage. Engaging is a different level of energy. And this happened to me, and I felt this in 2021 and 2022, I began to go through the process of like, man, I have my lead team built out. There's a couple hundred staff here and I don't have to do things anymore, and I'm out. I have escaped. And then slowly what happens with your talents if you do not use them? I found this quote, and I'm gonna read it to you. Um, using, using your talents to a greater degree does not use them up. In fact, this is basic physics. Personal resources actually multiply the more you put them to work. You can't save up and accrue your talents for later. You have to go all in. And so one of the reasons that we're spending time on a group like this going after what is my purpose is because for you to be fully engaged and to become who you're supposed to become. You have to know what to go all in on because if you do not go all in, you will begin to die and regress. And so the key here is actually figuring out what am I called to do and what do I exist for? And then there's a second component. In fact, I'm just gonna cheat real fast. I'm gonna skip ahead and then we're gonna do the exercise that to, to design the good life, you need two things. You need only two things. You write these down. The first thing that you need for you to design and live your good life, the first thing that you need is the reason you are here. You have to have it. Does that mean you have to have it right now? Nope. Doesn't mean if you don't have it figured out, you shouldn't exist. Hell no. It's not what I'm saying. You have to know the reason you are here. Side note, how do we find out the reason that we're here? You walk. You move and as you move, you begin to bump into these boundaries and your calling shows itself through movement, through action. So you just, you move. The second thing you have to know is what makes me feel the way I want to feel, what makes me feel the way I want to feel? Yeah, we're doing this, um, we're doing all of this work right now on beliefs and meaning and how to deal with trauma, but if we really boil it down, the only reason that trauma is a risk is because of the way it makes us feel. If trauma did not make us feel a certain way, it would not be a thing that can threaten us. The only things that can really threaten you are the things that commandeer and control the way you feel. About yourself, about the world, about the people around you. And so the way you feel is a really, really important thing. I'm gonna give you some points, and we're gonna go through some exercise. Okay? Uh, he has this thing called the, the, the tragic triad. And we're, we're building a base. We're building a. Building blocks on top of each other for us to get into the exercises. He says, the tragic triad are these three things that you can, you can create control over, and if you can create control over them, then your life will move forward. The first thing that you wanna learn how to control is to turn suffering into a human achievement and accomplishment. He says there are three things that. Three things that get a person to forsake their purpose and to play at a smaller level. The first is suffering, the second is guilt, and the third is death. So if you flip these around, the first skill that we must master is the ability to turn suffering into a human achievement and accomplishment. Now, am I talking about being addicted to suffering? No. That is a real risk, but we're gonna fix it in a second. What he is talking about here is not being addicted to suffering, but rather the inevitable pressure that comes with having a big mission. There is no such thing as a big mission. Big calling, big vision, big dream, without some sort of price. That must be. Paid to achieve that thing. Look, how many people have we studied in this group so far? We're just getting started. But how do you know any of them that didn't have some serious price extracted from them for real? No. Like all of 'em, they, the bigger, the, the effect on the world, the more they are going to have to kind of cough up and pay for that thing. Now, the, the thing that he's talking about is the easiest way to pay the price. He is not through the willpower and discipline of like, well, I'm just gonna pay the price for greatness. No, he's saying, if you can turn this around, reframe it into actually deriving a bit of accomplishment or achievement from the prices you're paying, period. You can tell when someone has this, when they get it, you can freaking tell because all of a sudden they start talking like crazy people. They just start being weird in the best way possible. How's your day? Oh, fucking amazing. I woke up at three o'clock, got into the cold plunge. I'm a monster. Like, life is so good. I've like, they're crazy. They are literally crazy. The other day it's Saturday. No, no, no. Friday, Friday night. I'm leaving. Saturday, we just had the event. Uh, on Friday it's nine 30. Lindsay's like, Hey, I'm going to bed. I love you so much. Babe, I can't go to bed right now. She's like, what? It's nine 30? Nope. Can't do it. I gotta speak tomorrow. I haven't written my speech. I gotta finalize that. And my body hurts because I had to sit for five hours listening to Mike talk about the encyclopedia. So I gotta go upstairs and I've gotta get in the sauna. And uh, she looks at me like I'm a crazy person. She said, are you back? I said, what do you mean? She said, are you? Sounds like you're back. Ooh. And we had like this moment where she's like. She text, she's like, text me while I was in the sun. And she's like, Hey, I think you're back. Let's go. Because for the first time in probably two years, she saw that she heard the crazy. Mm-hmm. You know what I'm saying? Like, oh, oh, he is crazy again. He just won't go to bed. Yes. This is, this is what I'm talking about, like when you're running out of energy, it's not because you like are running out of. Energy, you, you've run out of mission. That's what's happened. Mm-hmm. And as we run out of mission, the thing that happens right behind mission is vision. The thing that happens right behind vision is clarity and progress. And so when you run out of mission, you run out of vision. When you run out of vision, you run out of progress. And when we don't have progress, we begin to atrophy. You use it or you lose it. The second thing is guilt. How do we reframe guilt? Are we good or am I going too fast? Fireman. Hope you're good. Hope you guys are ready to rock and roll. Catch the replay if you need it. It's time to turn on deriving from guilt, he says you get the opportunity to change oneself for the better. What a powerful reframe. I'm not going to let guilt corrode me. I'm going to let guilt teach me and show me the areas that I need to change myself. For the better. Guilt is not a beneficial feeling unless it's instructive and unless you can capture the lesson and let it go. We don't have time to get into that today, but we will later. And then the third is death, the transitory nature of life itself. And he says, from life's transitory nature, we can. Build an incentive for ourselves to take responsible action. How many of you have felt like, I know I need to do this thing, uh, but I do not want to do it. When you, when you know that you are going to die and your time is limited, and that at some, some point you'll pass into the beyond, and that the only thing that will last of you are the activities and choices you made along the way. You develop an incentive, Viktor Frankl says to take responsible action. Remembering how short life is gives you an incentive for responsible action. Why am I saying this over and over again? Because sometimes the most responsible thing you can do is not to build your biggest business ever. It's to spend the weekends with your kids. Sometimes your responsible action is to slow it down a little bit because when you die, you can't come back and the people that are here that matter only get one opportunity with you. It gives you an incentive for responsible action when you realize that life is short. So how do we find meanings transitioning? He says that there are three things that help us create meaning and find meaning. Remember, we're talking about the finding your good life, which requires you to know the reason you exist and feeling good about what you do. How do you feel good in the moments of life that push you forward? It says three things. The first is achievement. It says creating work or doing a good deed or doing something or calling the cops on Mr. Bishop. You know, I felt really bad about it actually last night, and he, he ended up being cooperative, but they said the main police there said, you know, um, the number one cause of death on. Their radar right now is driving under impairment. I was gonna say, he probably saved his life, man. He could have saved his life. He could have saved someone else's life. Yep. So finding meaning, just call me the chaplain of Franklin, Tennessee. I'm gonna go out and find 'em all. And achievement, creating work, doing deed love. This is the second love is, is experiencing someone or encountering someone or being in. Fully enveloped in a community where love is the central theme, not competition. Notice what he has on here. Finding meaning there's no, I don't find any, any of his work beating someone else's numbers. Yeah. I don't see any meaning from that. I don't see in his meaning like, you know, having more followers now. This achievement love. And then the third thing, which is what he became known for, is the attitude that we take towards unavoidable suffering. The attitude we take towards unavoidable suffering. So we have some homework. This week, it's 1103 Central Standard Time. We're actually gonna do it right now. Um, I want you to make two lists with me. You guys ready to lock in? Two lists? Two lists. Let's go. Um, we're gonna just do, we're gonna do 60 seconds because I do not want to run out of time, and I want you to write down two lists. The first list I want you to write down, think of the things that come top of mind as quickly as you can that make you the happiest. These are moments. When you felt in control, you felt blissful, you felt excited, you felt like you could do anything. What were you doing? One minute, 80% of your happiness comes from 20% of your experiences or less. So we wanna find what those experiences are. Okay? Now make the other list. The other lists are the things that you really hate doing. They make you pretty unhappy. They stress you out. They frustrate you. What are the moments that you felt the most despondent or the most deflated, or the most hopeless or the most disempowered? What were you doing in those moments? Make that list, Mike, what you got? Share some of yours. Yeah, so I had, uh, happy list is family outings, traveling, riding, working with clients, surfing, painting. Epic. What about the second list? Second list was menial chores, just like stuff that I know I should be having other people do for me. Pay, pay them to do it. Um, anything wasting time. It just feels like where I can't help, but not waste time and stuck doing accounting and menial like weeds and bills and. Anything to do with bills you hate? Bills, anything. Accounting in general. Actually, not just bills, but just account taxes, stuff like that. Ugh. Why do you hate taxes so much? I guess it probably defaults into those things that I should have other people do, which obviously now I do, but anytime I gotta like gather paperwork, go back and like dig up archives and go through the weeds. Not, not the most fun. So the the things that we do and the things that we think give us feeling, okay, so what Mike is talking about is, is, uh, he's doing things, but the also the, we have a, we have a leverage point. We can change the way he thinks about them and that it will change a bit of how he feels about them. We don't have time to get into that today, and Mike's committed to not liking taxes, so we're not gonna fix that anyways, but. The key I wanna point out for just a moment, and then we're gonna get into something really, really important before we wrap up today, is that the way that you feel tends to put out a, a field around you. And so based on how you feel, you are either going to compound a positive feeling or you are gonna compound a negative feeling. First law, Newtonian law, things that are in motion tend to stay in. Motion. Motion. The inertia that we fight, our brains naturally go into this mode where they're like, we invested a lot of time to feel this way, which means that we want to feel this way in the future. If we get into actual quantum, which we're gonna do at the end of November or middle of November, if we get into actual quantum, it's a different type of science that's not, this is, this is like. Reticular activating system, um, physiologic physiology like this is, this is old science. This is still effective. Quantum is brand new science. Quantum is like collective consciousness and actual force fields and different types of stuff entirely, but. How you feel greatly determines how you're going to feel tomorrow. How you feel today is probably gonna be a good indicator of how you're gonna feel tomorrow if nothing changes. The I wanna talk about is we have in our lives things that we love and things that we hate, and then we have things that we are called to. So the thing I want to pull your attention to right now is the trap of the modern day entrepreneur. If you have your mission and you have your purpose. Some of you, your purpose and your mission is to save families from, from ruin. Some of you help help couples come back together. Some of you are branding experts and you help businesses that matter. Take market share. Some of you are deeply invested. Into the humanity, like the future of humanity. And what I want to draw to your attention is that when you have a list of things that you love to do, your focus is on the things that you love to do that fit into the mission that you want to accomplish. Can everybody see my screen real fast? Yep. The trap that we run into are the things that we do not want to do, but they must get done for us to accomplish our mission. This is why people fail at the good life right here. This is why we fail, because in inevitably, there are areas in your business that have to get done that you are called to, and we actually confuse them needing to get done with us having to do them. So take your list real fast. Mike has a list of things that he does not like. On that list are things that have to get done. True or false. True, but the way that he feels when doing them is going to perpetuate a negative spiral that's going to produce more negative feelings if he does them because of how he feels. Make sense? Totally. So the answer we have to the, to really come up with here is not only what am I called to do, but what is the feeling that I am chasing. That can only be derived by me doing the things that I love to do with and for other people, this making sense? A hundred percent. So 80% of our happiness, 80% of the way that we feel, 80% of our good moments are gonna come from 20% or less of our environments, our activities, our projects, and our tasks. So this is a homework for this week, is where can we double down on these things that we love to do that make us feel exceptional? You already have your list. Is there a world we can create where we are only doing. What we really love to do now, right now, this is what happens to your time. If you have, if you have a task list that this is 80% and you hate it, and this is 20% and you love it, what happens if you get rid of all of this and you only spend your time on the things that you love to do? What happens to your time? Get a whole lot more of it. You get tons of freaking time. So the, the, the idea of feeling like I do not have time. Yeah, that's a really good indicator that you are not living inside of your purpose and you are not doing the things that are actually lighting you up. When everybody, any, anytime somebody says an a client group, they're like, yo, I, I'm back to back and I don't have time and this and that. If we can get you to double down on the things that actually make you light up, you will have your time back. And even if you don't. Because of the fact that you're doing the things that make you feel good, it will not matter. True or false? True. Here's the secret, and here's how I can tell. When somebody knows what their purpose is, we're gonna end right here because of this, I know for a fact that the people who have their purpose dialed in and the people who know what makes them happy. Are the ones who have the power and the clarity to say no to anything outside of their zone of genius and their zone of purpose. The person who cannot say no is the person who does not know what their purpose is.