Why High Performers Fail The Hidden Threat Behind Your Goals Part 2

 The brain is trying to make you appropriate for the context that you are living in. And so what your brain will start to do, you set this big goal, you start achieving it. It's not working. Your brain goes, ah, let's help this person out. Then all of a sudden we wake up in the morning and we're like, yeah, that thing is not happening.

Imagine if the brain treated this scenario the same way it treated your life scenario. You get into your car, you head down the GPS change, 6 42. Oh my goodness, we are not gonna make it. This is inappropriate. Turn this car around and go back home. In a vehicle, you have exposure and repetition and, and myelin and all this stuff that's coding your brain so that you know, like we're going to get there, but in life we have to train it.

This way it doesn't just come out of the box with the expectation effect necessary to do big things when there is resistance. What we are really seeing in a person when they have doubt is a fractured expectation. What if you could build a business in the modern world as big or as small as you want without having to compromise the things that were the most important to you in the very beginning?

This is the Wealthy Consultant Talks podcast with Taylor Welch and Mike Walker as they share with you today, their learning lessons from stories in their experiences over the past 10 to 15 years. And share with you right here, right now. Let's get into it. So, uh, picture this real fast. Let's say that you,  um,  does anybody have a, a, a big goal of something that you've always wanted to do, but it feels ridiculously big and almost impossible? 

Let's just get a check on the Dreamers who are on the call,  the ones who, um.  When you think about your life, when you're no longer here,  it's got legacy attached to it.  These are the dreamers. You gotta watch your circle for dreamers, you always want to have a ear to the grounds for dreamers who are like us,  uh, because birds of a feather tend to flock together  and you don't wanna be like  flocking around with the naysayers, you'll be very careful that that doesn't happen to you. 

You wanna.  Find the dreamers of your community. You wanna find the people when they tell you what they're going to do. You can't believe it, but you're excited about it. You wanna find the people who wake up in the morning and when you go look at them on social media, they're always expecting something. 

Expecting something big, expecting something positive. The Dreamers are not the ones who are hustling around, grinding, trying to make ends meet all the time, although they do go through seasons where life is difficult. The Dreamers are the ones who can get above it and beyond it, and they're, they're not just gonna tell you what they're trying to do right now.

They're telling you what they're going to do and what it's gonna mean for everyone around them.  So we gotta be dreamers. We have to have the ability to think when we think about our future, we think in terms of generations. 

I don't wanna get on the phone with Fred Smith and be like, what are you excited about? And he is like, man, my mortgage payment's coming up and I think I'm gonna make it.  Although we've both been through, me and Fred have both been through seasons where we've had to focus on those things. 'cause we don't want to die in the middle. 

I want to get on the phone with somebody like Fred Smith, or  somebody like Leah and I wanna say, Hey, what are you excited about? And they're like,  this thing is so big that  kids in other countries will read about what we're doing right now.  There's an excitement factor that comes, and if you're a believer or if you're somebody who's who's interested in the gospel, you would always tell when Holy Spirit's into something because there tends to be this nervous  excitement,  what the frick is about to happen  for perpetually all the time.

Last night my wife asked me, how you feeling about the week? So I'm like ridiculously nervous about this week.  I was like, why? Well, we have this event we're doing Thursday. I was telling Lindsay about it, and I'm like, there's too many people registered for this event. We've never had this many people registered at effort event at one time before, never in a, in my whole life.

And she's like, oh, sounds like God's interested in it. And I was like, yeah, I know. That's, that's the thing. I just am like nervous about it because it's a lot of people  and uh, I was trying to figure it out. She comes in this morning, she said, Hey, I figured out why you're nervous. It's a threshold week. 

That's why you're nervous.  The Threshold week. And uh, I'm very familiar with Threshold Weeks because I've studied them in the Bible and I've studied them in biographies in real life. And I've noticed that when you cross over a threshold, everything in your life can't go back to what it was. Here's what a threshold is.

If you wanna know what a threshold is, it's not just a big moment, it's a one way door. That's what a threshold is like. You can try to get yourself back, but you can't go back.  You've stepped through a threshold when you're like, no matter what happens,  I am not able to go back to where I was before I crossed the threshold.

And these things are good,  but they're scary.  They're scary because we get used to our lives as they exist.  We've got our friends, we've got our church, we've got our community, we've got our business, and then a threshold boom pops up and you can't fit back into a smaller reality.  One of my good friends lives in Cincinnati and.

Um, I was going through a frustrating, um,  a frustrating cadence of events. I'll put it that way. You know, when it's like, it's not that your life is bad, it's just that like, this happened and I didn't like it, and then there were four other things that happened and I didn't like it. And you just kind of get into this meh mood where you're like, man, why doesn't. 

Why doesn't God just fix it like it is stupid. And he is like, what's wrong with you? And I was like, I'm just frustrated. I go to his house and I see his house and it's this beautiful quaint, you ever seen these old houses? They look like they were built in like 1850,  but they've been renovated on the inside.

It's, and it's beautiful. And it's like a really small house. It's probably like, I don't know, 1500 square feet. And he is got two kids. And I was like, I love your house. And he was like, why? It's been to my house. You see my house?  He's like, why do you love my house? And I said, bro, because it represents something that I can't go back to. 

And we had this conversation because I remember when I was in the apartment with my wife, Lindsay, we had no kids. Our lives were difficult, but they were simple.  And I didn't like it until you have to leave it. And then all of a sudden.  You remember all the upside of that season. This is what a threshold feels like, and you don't want to be in this season anymore.

What are you talking about? Step over the threshold. It's like, no, no, no, no, no. But now that it's over,  I'm remembering all of the things that I'm going to miss and I won't be able to go back into it. And he was like, why can't you just go back into a small house? I said, bro, my, my,  it doesn't have the capacity for me to fit back into that season.

I can never go back to a season that's done. And every time you try to do this, you end up ruining your life.  You know, you were supposed to move on from a business, but you just won't let it go. And then your life gets ruined in the process. You know, you were supposed to stop talking to that person, but you just won't let 'em go 'cause you grew up with them and then all of a sudden they become a balling chain around you.

This is what a threshold season feels like. And so you're all probably feeling similar things,  but the defining  sequence  is, is gonna follow this predictable type of things. You guys good with this? I don't have, I'm not going off of notes 'cause I'm just kind of. Reading where we're, we need to go. Let's flow, bro.

Okay, cool. You're gonna feel the same things every time you hit a transition season or a threshold season, right? It's predictable like clockwork. Every single time you go through it, it's gonna feel the same. At the, at first you're gonna feel, um, a little bit of, of this discontented feeling. It's not that your life is bad, it's just that, you know it's supposed to be different.

And this is early on in the process. This is very early on. If you're just now feeling discontent, good news, you got a lot of time, you got time, you're good. Don't worry about it.  But you, you, you have some discontent and then you go into this, this process of developing vision.  If you're discontent with what you have, well, what do you want? 

And people get stuck here. They don't ever figure out what they want. So you go, I'll go into these rooms filled with people and I'll start teaching them and I'll say like, how many of you have things in your life that you want but you don't have? And then I'll, they'll raise their hand and I'll say, what is it that you want?

They're like, why? I don't want this.  I want my blah, blah, blah, to not be like this. I'm gonna blah, blah, blah. This means you got stuck in the thresholds so you knew what you didn't want anymore. There's discontent, but you didn't actually fill in the, the gap between what you don't want and what you do want.

And a lot of people get stuck here. Yeah. Let's say you get through the vision phase. You're like, this is what I want my life to look like. This is great. But then you get stuck in doubts. There's no way that's possible. Who am I to have that?  I don't know if I deserve that. That seems hard.  Well, I don't even know how to do that.

And then you start having this misalignment. You know Jesus in the Bible, he says, if you tell this thing to move and you have no doubt, it will move. If you have no doubt that's required. It's not a suggestion. He's not like, think about it. If you don't like the doubt, get rid of it. No, you, you have doubt.

You're dead. You have to not have any doubt. What is doubt? Doubt is nothing more than a misalignment between the body, the mind, and the spirit. This is what doubt is. It's a misalignment of the three heavens. It's a misalignment of the three rounds. It's when  your mind might see something, but in your body you have unworthiness. 

You might get a glimpse of a future that you like and your, your emotions in your central nervous system begin to latch onto it. But in your mind, you have trauma and insecurity.  There's a misalignment. This creates doubt.  So stage one,  discontent, stage two vision, stage three is we have to give ourselves time to line up the elements. 

So that we're not moving in circles, because you can always tell somebody who is wrestling with doubt when they're just stutter. Stepping two steps forward, two steps back, two steps forward, two steps back, alright? It's gonna be a big season.  Four steps forward,  four steps back, and they are just spinning in circles. 

You can tell somebody's stuck in this place. They've been trying to do this for three years, but they just won't let it go. They can't get their alignment locked in. And then you get to the, to the place where you're fully lined in and you have this feeling like what I'm talking about earlier on the call where everything's about to change. 

You're ready for it,  you're excited for it.  You have full expectation that it's going to happen.  But change means something. Change means that you can't be who you used to be.  And you begin to wrestle with the ramifications of life change.  And this is if you actually read back through the all of the  study that we've been doing for the past four or five weeks,  what we're doing is we're eliminating all of these things where people get trapped and stuck.

And so now we're at week four where we start finally getting into the realm of  full expectation without the collateral damage of any doubt.  And so if you're here, you should already be sort of cleaned up, like you kind of already know  you've done, you've dealt with the things that are causing unworthiness.

You've dealt with the things that create importance and idols and different things in your life.  And so now what we're gonna spend time on today is, is doubt and outer and inner intention. So we're gonna split this up into two categories, outer and inner intention.  First steps. First, let's talk about  the. 

Derivatives of a doubt of a mind filled with doubt. Oh, a derivative means it comes from the thing. So it's a, it's a second or third order consequence of a mind that is filled with doubt. Let's pretend that, that we get to, uh, wave a magic wand over our life and our circumstances, and we get to create a perfect picture of our future  money, success, relationships, health, all of the above, and let's laser into one of those.

So just pick one  category, whether it's relationships, health, money.  Um,  you name it, pick one. Just take like 20 seconds and jot down some notes on a piece of paper  how the scoreboard works. How do you know that you're getting what you want? So if it's money, it might be a million dollars in the bank. It might be a business that does $10 million a year.

If it's relationship, it might be full restoration of a relationship. How do you know? Because you're able to go to dinner with them once a week. So give me the, the tangible types of outcomes. Jot them down so you have them.  So here's what happens when we, when we get this vision, and, and let's say we start really wrapping our expectation around this.

Expectation's important, and we'll talk about that in just a second. Um, in New Age, they have this thing called like manifestation, and you just like close your eyes. You think really hard, not quite as hard enough to have an aneurysm, but close. And then you just like, you know, get yourself hot and bothered and lose your mind, and then you'll like visualize something  manifesting in front of you and it, and it's like, okay.

That works for some personalities, it works some of the times.  Um, it's visualization is a great tool. We have to use it, it's part of the way our brain works. But manifestation is actually a, a very  autonomous thing. You can't control manifestation. If you could, then all of the self-help gurus who are teaching it would be rich and they're not because they try to be clients and we have to help them.

So I'm telling you what I'm telling you. It's, it's, it's autonomous. You can't control your manifestation journey. It's gonna happen. Because you get the right ingredients in the, in the right order, and it's gotta be clean. If it's not clean, then you'll manifest your own destruction. So anyways, um, all that to say, you get this idea, you go out, you start doing  life in a way where you're sort of aligning with this outcome. 

And then what happens  when two weeks go by, six weeks go by, 12 weeks go by, and it's not you. You've not made any progress.  If you're not any closer to that destination than you were when you started, what? What happens? Well, the mind begins to formulate this picture. The mind loves to do this.  The mind's trying to keep you alive.

It hasn't fully, if it hasn't been trained on how to get into the spirit, it's just stuck in its Newtonian  operating system, and so it's trying to fill in the gaps. Have you guys seen the picture of the Coca-Cola cam  and you look at it?  And it's got red in it, but then you zoom in and there's nothing in the can that's red.

It's all black and white. Yeah. That's trippy, huh? Can you find that real fast and show it to him, Mike? Yeah. Let me, let me do a search.  What? What the mind's doing is it's filling in gaps for you. It knows what it's supposed to look like, so it's just filling it in the brain is just all the time. It cheats. 

A freaking cheater. It's trying to reduce how much energy it takes to do something  and give you a clean outcome. And so the brain does the same thing that we're talking about with the Coca-Cola pan, which is, doesn't matter. Did you find it, bro?  Yeah, I'm close. I've found, uh, iterations of it, so I'm trying to see which one is the real one here. 

All right, so there's, there's no there, there's no red in this. It's black.  Zoom back out. 

The red is an illusion. It is your brain filling in  fake details to try to get you to recognize the thing. Now, we do this, we do the same thing in soc sociology and social psychology. It's called, uh uh, social categorization. So in social category categories, how many of you love? How many of you love embarrassing yourself in front of people? 

Show of hands. 

Yeah. No one, none of us like this. We hate embarrassing ourselves, like putting our foot in our mouth saying, I remember one of my, one of my most horrifying core memories  is when I was 21 years old, I was on staff at a church and I walked up to someone at church. I was one of the worship leaders and volunteer coordinators at the church. 

And I said, um,  when are you due?  And you know how this story ends. Um,  she had had the baby like 30 days earlier, so it wasn't as bad as like, just like completely off the cuff, but it was still really embarrassing.  And then, you know, now, then I became an introvert magically just like that. That one moment made an introvert.

Now I'm like, don't talk to people, stay away. We have these core memories. We don't like being embarrassed. So the brain does the same thing that is doing with Coca-Cola fan in social categorization, is trying to recognize context.  It's trying to fill in the gaps so that we are appropriate in the moment. 

Remember that the brain is trying to make you appropriate for the context  that you are living in. It does not want you thinking that you are  climbing the top of a mountain when you're actually  going to the bottom of the pit, where there are a bunch of snakes and tigers that can kill you. It's trying to keep you alive through context  and making you appropriate.

And so what your brain will start to do, you set this big goal, you start achieving it. It's not working. Your brain goes, ah, ah, let's help this person out so that they can be appropriate. Fire the reticular activating system. Begin to find anything that says we are not making progress so that we can change our approach.

Does it make sense?  Yeah. Then all of a sudden we wake up in the morning and we're like, yeah, that thing is not happening.  And it's not a conscious thought or we would recognize it. It's, it's, it's subconscious and we're not achieving this thing. So pull the, pull the parachute thing on this because this is inappropriate.

We are acting in a way that is inappropriate to our circumstances  and we're never going to make it there. So we have to change our approach. Now, pause. Wipe the memory bank clean.  Let's start over with the new example. Are you guys still with me?  I'm tracking, man, deep into like the neuros synapsis of our brains right now.

So just  hard, fresh. Start over. Think of a pink, uh, giraffe  with the face of a dog or something. I don't know. Just make it crazy. Okay, reset the brain. Now, let's say that you get into your car, you're on the way to meet your spouse or significant person downtown for dinner. It's six 30.  You need to leave at about six o'clock.

To be there on time. Got it.  You get into your car, you begin to drive  and you notice some traffic, and so you're stuck in traffic. The GPS does what GPSs do and they switch the estimated arrival time from 6 25 to 6 42.  Oh my God.  What are we going to do?  Well, it's really simple.  The brain kind of fact checks, like, do you do, does it think you're still going to get there?

Yeah, I'm still gonna get there. I'm just gonna be a little later then I thought, so what do you do? You just text the person, Hey, sorry, there's a wreck on Highway 65, which happens all the time in Nashville, and uh, I'm gonna be about 12 minutes late.  Imagine if the brain treated this scenario the same way it treated your life scenario. 

You get into your car, you head down the GPS change, 6 42. Oh my goodness, we are not gonna make it. This is inappropriate. Turn this car around and go back home.  This is what happens because it hasn't been trained on how to hang on to A GPS regardless of how long it takes, it hasn't been trained to do that in a vehicle.

You have exposure and repetition and, and myelin and all this stuff that's coding your brain so that you know like we're going to get there. But in life.  We have to train it this way. It doesn't just come out of the box  with the expectation effect necessary  to do big things when there is resistance, and I'm using the word expectation over and over because expectation is the key.

When it comes down to reducing doubt, eliminating doubt, getting rid of it. What we are really seeing in a person when they have doubt is a  fractured expectation.  The expectations of a person's life have been fractured based on what they've heard.  Based on what their mama went through, based on what they saw their best friend do and fail.

And because of mimetics, which is hyper imitation, mimes is hyper imitation. So this is how babies learn. They, they imitate their appearance. My, my brother-in-law Dane, who is running marketing for all of our companies, they just had a, a new baby. Her name is Summer.  You know when a baby is like  six months, seven months old?

They're like peak cuteness. They get cute, but they're just like.  Yeah, they start, oh, this baby looks like, you can tell, it looks like your mom. I never understood when the baby was born. And they're like, it looks like the dad. No, it doesn't. It doesn't look like anything. I don't understand that. My brain doesn't understand.

It doesn't look like anything. It just is a baby. But anyways, they start developing features and their nose starts to change and they start to look different and they start having expressions that mirror their parents, like watch for happy kids, and then get to know their parents.  It's always the case.

Kate has had many bad days and I'm pretty happy. But you, they're mirroring their environment. They're, they're trying to mirror through mirror neurons, their environment. Well, this never changes. It just gets faster.  As adults, we have hyper imitation and then we have layers of imitation. So we have the, the imitation of a person's face.

Everybody do this real fast. Biggest smile of your life. 

It's the best. If you don't have your cameras on,  you're wasting your whole life. This life is a waste right Now. Turn your camera on so we can see you. But what's happening here is there's, there's actually mirror neurons in your face  that are connecting to the neurochemistry of your brain.  So there's neuro, there's another level of this.

There's, there's connections between your neurochemistry and your facial expressions. There's another layer if you want to go deeper, which is.  Fred  wants something in his life. And Memetically, I want that thing now. This is called mimetics. It's the study of of mirroring wants and desires, which is why I'm saying watch your circle, remove the Debbie Downers, remove the people who, and I'm not saying you can remove your mom or your dad or something like that.

I'm just saying be careful that they don't rub off on you because you will desire in your heart the things that are desired in the hearts of those around you.  This is mimetics. And all of this runs through an algorithm in the person's mind,  and this algorithm is running 24 7 all the time. And when expectation is fractured,  it's contagious. 

So other people in your worlds will begin to mirror that fractured  expectation. Have you ever been around somebody who has just the most ridiculous level of certainty and belief?  It's extreme and it's crazy, and you're like, I feel like I can do anything when I'm around this person.  It's the best. You come to one of our events, you start to feel this  osmosis effect of how mimetics gets into the expectation channels of a person's life.

What's happening is, is our, our expectations get fractured, and in that fracture we begin to lose certainty that where we are going  will actually happen.  And this happens the most.  The most by orders of magnitude. When does this happen? Right at the beginning of a threshold cross.  This is when it happens the most  pound for pounds.

You have the most  turbulence on your expectations right before you step through a one way door and you're gonna really go for it  if we're not careful.  What we will do  when we're at a, at a, at a threshold moment is we will do what we were trained to do by the self-help doctors, psychiatrists, and therapists, and the people who have come before us.

In the last 200 years, we will use brute force to try to push our way through a door,  and then we will hate ourselves because we didn't give ourselves a chance. We didn't give ourselves an option.  This is where you find grind culture showing up. Like all you want to do anything, you can do anything. Wake up at two o'clock in the morning every day.

Don't sleep, don't kiss your kids, do all this stuff. It's coming from someone had such a fractured expectation and a fractured opinion of themselves that the only way they could claw their way out of it  was through  extreme forms of discipline that are not sustainable.  Why do you see people lose a lot of weight and then in six weeks gain it all back? 

Why do you see people get right to the edge of a breakthrough in their business and right before it happens, or right after it happens, they end up losing all of their money because they did not use alignment. They used force  through discipline. They burned through the hormones in the glucose available to them, and when they ran out, you just run out. 

So half of the, the work is not even, what is the goal is how do you. Think about the goal. How do you think about yourself? How do you put yourself into a position where you can move through life  without relying excessively on discipline? Although discipline is good, it's the fruit of the spirit. I love discipline, but I don't want my life to be run on the chassis of having to burn willpower reserves.

I want to get into alignment.  Make sense?  But here's the homework for you, and this is the final piece, and I wanna tell you guys, this is not the end. This is not, this is the foundation. This isn't the destination. Once you start peeking into these things,  some of this stuff is like, once you've seen it, you can't unsee it,  and then you need to know what to do with it. 

Once you've gotten through these exercises, it actually represents the very foundation of liftoff.  And once you get in the air, you gotta stay in the air.  It can't come back down. And then once you get your circle clean, you have to multiply it.  And then once you get yourself healthy, then you have to,  you have to cement it and diversify it.

So there's all of these different things we'll be covering in Kairos, in Novos in the future. But here's the homework for today. And this homework is, um, is backed scientifically, and it's designed to help you with this threshold moment.  If you pick a goal or something in your life.  An image that you want.

Ask yourself,  am I trying to force this outcome instead of accepting it and walking with it?  Now the language here is coded.  It's coded because when you read this, there are pictures that should show up in your mind as you're answering this. What's the picture that you get when you think of walking with something? 

Your picture is your picture.  And that picture reveals to some extent how it should feel  as you move forward with it. I'll tell you this, um,  when, when we, um,  we've got eight minutes. I'm gonna show this really quickly.  When we started, one of the initiatives last February,  and I thought about walking with it, I thought about actually walking with the weight of it.

This particular thing, I felt like I was walking under it  and I would have to carry it.  That's not a bad thing.  Don't try to reprogram your way out of that. Some things you're called to, you're called to sort of like,  get yourself into a position where you can just obey  and carry it for as long as you're supposed to carry it. 

Not everything that a person accomplishes is going to be like, just limitless bliss and happy feel all the time. Some of us, some of you are, are called to change the world.  And that's gonna feel like weight. You're gonna carry it, you're gonna go to bed at night, sometimes crying over it.  How dangerous would it be if it was like, all of this should just be blissful and happy and you should see, you know, flowers everywhere when you close your eyes.

That's, that's  childish and juvenile. That's not how the world works.  And then there are other things in my life where when I think about walking with it, I think about just running with it. And it's so liberating to run without restraints and to just be able to do this. Novos, by the way, if I think about walking with Novos, it's like finally I have a tiger with its tail on fire and I can chase it.

It's been a long time since I've been able to just  run out of a cage and just run as fast as I can. And you've had other areas where it's like, I'm just carrying this  and I'm supposed to carry it.  And it's supposed to be heavy,  and that means sometimes it's supposed to hurt  and I'm still called to carry it.

Knowing what it feels like to walk with something gives you a signal  on how you're supposed to treat it.  Does it make sense?  Yeah. So you answer this question first. The second thing, what would this entire thing look like and feel like if it were effortless? This doesn't discount the idea of carrying something. 

You can have something that is heavy and.  Weighty and still approach it from this idea of this is effortless for me to do because I'm the one called to do it.  And what would crush someone else without the calling  won't crush me, even though it's heavy is effortless. So the Bible say, my burden is  light's easy. 

Well, how can something be happy and light at the same time?  Well, the same reason that  the past and the future are happening at the same time. This is  the, the, the scriptures are the most ancient metaphysical quantum mechanics book in, in history. They, they, they combine all of this stuff into scientific narrative.

So it's both, it's both at the same time. What would this entire thing look like and feel like if it were effortless? And number three, if I were in charge, and this is also coded, if I were in charge.  Where in my life and when did I create such resistance? And what would I replace it with 

if I were in charge?  Where in my life and when did I create this resistance  and what would I replace it with? 

And you sit with this and it may take you five minutes. Some of you're gonna know this in 30 seconds. Some of you, it's gonna take five or six minutes. 

It is insane how I will  remember a moment when I was nine, or remember a moment when I was 23  and I came into agreement, or an anchor was created in my personality where I all of the sudden became afraid to fail in this area  where I all of a sudden  found myself agreeing that this would be really hard. 

In this area, and these anchors have a way of dragging you down  so that you cannot  process it appropriately.  We don't want our minds to create the appropriate  picture. We want our spirits to create what is appropriate.  Our minds may have no idea what's going on,  but our spirit says, Hey, this is appropriate because it's you. 

It's you. You're the one called to do this. You're the one that's supposed to do this, build this business, build this brand, help this person, change this culture, eradicate racism, remove poverty from generations to  delete suicide as a viable option for kids to, uh, you name it, fill in the blanks. But I can promise you that when you get an idea and it's missional, it will be massive. 

And there will be seasons in your life where you feel like you're running through it and it's amazing. And there will be seasons of it where you're walking obediently, but it's heavy. Both of those seasons can be effortless if you have the right frame for it. And the only way to get into that frame where you're clean is to find where you created an anchor that is making it heavier than it should be. 

Worse than it should be. Harder than it should be.